A new year

Or is it? It doesn't really seem so new to me, or maybe I'm just not ready to be in a new one or ready to acknowledge it. It's so weird anyway. I remember distinctly being so overwhelmingly pregnant with Ryder 2 years ago--praying he would come in December, then finally getting there 11 days into January. I can't believe my boy is so big! When people would say "they grow so fast" I just thought that was something you said once you had kids. I didn't really believe it. But I find myself wishing the days would last just a little longer, that the weeks wouldn't just be gone. I picture myself sitting at his high school graduation too easily. I know that seems so far off, but I literally feel the days pulling away from me. It's like the more I want more, the less they stick around. I try to enjoy every day, though, just bask in the point in time Ryder's experiencing now. I love that he's grown in so many ways, and am so proud he's just as smart as Daddy, and beyond eager to learn. I think of how it was to hold him for the first time, see him sit up, crawl, walk, run, and do everything inbetween for the first time and I never knew love like this before. I don't know what I would do with out him in my life.

Ryder is my angel, my life, my love, my miracle, my son, and most importantly mine. Paul and I are overwhelmed each day that he's really here in our lives. We feel like one day we'll wake up and it will all have been a dream. He's amazing....and crazy, busy, persistent, determined, stubborn, dramatic, and I love every bit of him. He's so handsome, too, so I could just stare at him all day. I can't believe he's my boy!

I love you beyond words!! Happy birthday in exactly 14 hours!!